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Ronnie Barker Quotes

Ronnie Barker Quotes

The life of Ronald William George Barker spans from 25 Sep. 1929 to 3 Oct. 2005. He was a comedian, English actor and writer. He got Ronnie with his name from a comedy show, called The Two Ronnies. He has also worked in other comedy shows for example, Porridge and Open All Hours. Ronnie Barker Quotes

Barker starting his acting career in staging theatre and he found himself a best comedy actor. First time, he appeared at Oxford Playhouse, including West End, Tom Stoppard’s The Real Inspector Hound and The Navy Lark at British TV. He started sarcastic sketch roles in The Frost Report, where he joined the media company of David Frost.

At BBC, he got a lot success from a sketch role in The Two Ronnies (1971-87). With his successful acting performances in many shows and TV programs, he got BAFTA award four times. He finished his acting career in 1987 then he started his own business with an antiques shop.

During his life, he experienced many things that you can feel in Ronnie Barker Quotes. Check out lovely, motivational and inspirational Ronnie Barker Quotes here at EpicPhrase.

Ronnie Barker Quotes

“A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.” Ronnie Barker

“There was a fire at the Inland Revenue office in London, but it was put out before any serious good was done.” Ronnie Barker

“There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar’s ‘Sea Pictures’ at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared.” Ronnie Barker

“A ship carrying red paint collided with another one carrying purple paint. Both crews are thought to be marooned.” Ronnie Barker

Ronnie Barker Quotes

“The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go in.” Ronnie Barker

“The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.” Ronnie Barker

“Don’t just crit there siticising.” Ronnie Barker

“My wife tries not to bring out the beast in me -she’s afraid of mice.” Ronnie Barker

“If I was as rich as a Rockerfeller I’d be Richer than Rockefeller, because I’d do a bit of window cleaning on the side.” Ronnie Barker

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“In a packed program tonight, we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.” Ronnie Barker

“I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.” Ronnie Barker

“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” Ronnie Barker

“I really have a nice step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.” Ronnie Barker

“It was one of those years when God bent over and kissed California.” Ronnie Barker

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“I went to a restaurant the other day called ‘Taste of the Raj.’ The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.” Ronnie Barker

“You can tell a lot about someone’s personality if you know his star sign. Jesus was born on December 25th, fed five thousand, and walked on water –typical Capricorn.” Ronnie Barker

“If you drop a Bible from a height you can kill a field mouse; so maybe the Bible isn’t all good.” Ronnie Barker

“I never saw my granddad –he was excellent at hiding.” Ronnie Barker

“We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion.”

ronnie barker quotes two ronnies

“But first, the news: The House of Commons was sealed off today after police chased an escaped lunatic through the front door during Prime Minister’s question time. A spokesman at Scotland Yard said it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.”

“It’s better to make people laugh than cry.”

“I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.”

“To me singing is a joy. Choral singing is a delight. Welsh Choral singing is more than a delight. The Treorchy Male Choir is the best in choral singing. How then can they be described except in superlatives? They are without equal.”

“To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, its the best job in the world.”

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“Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred ‘Chuckles’ Jenkins, Britain’s oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred’s jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.”

“Barker was a great writer, a great actor and a great loss to us all. I think God must have needed cheering up.”

“In a packed programme tonight, I shall be having a word with a man who goes in for meditation, because he thinks it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.”

“We have decided that this offence is too serious for a community sentence. You will be sent to a young offenders’ institution for six months.”

“Next week we’ll be investigating rumours that the president of the dairy council has become a Mason, and goes around giving his colleagues the ‘secret milkshake.”

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Author Quotes

15 Deep Philosophy Quotes of Marcus Aurelius

Marcus Aurelius Quotes

“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, But care more about their opinions than our own.” Marcus Aurelius

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Marcus Aurelius

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?” Marcus Aurelius

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive. To breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” Marcus Aurelius

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” Marcus Aurelius

“If someone can prove me wrong and show me my mistake in any thought or action, I shall gladly change. I seek the truth, which never harmed anyone: The harm is to persist in one’s own self-deception and ignorance.” Marcus Aurelius

“The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.”  Marcus Aurelius

“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly. What doesn’t transmit light creates its own darkness.” Marcus Aurelius

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” Marcus Aurelius

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius

“You can also commit injustice by doing nothing.”  Marcus Aurelius

“The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, But to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” Marcus Aurelius

“The happiness of those who want to be popular depends on others; The happiness of those who seek pleasure fluctuates with moods outside their control; But the happiness of the wise grows out of their own free acts.” Marcus Aurelius

“The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.” Marcus Aurelius

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Author Quotes

15 Deep Philosophy Quotes From Pythagoras

Pythagoras Quotes

“Concern should drive us into action and not into a depression.” Pythagoras

“Educate the children and it won’t be necessary to punish the men.” Pythagoras

“Do not go to bed until you have gone over the day three times in your mind. What wrong did I do? What good did I accomplish? What did I forget to do?” Pythagoras

“The soul of man is divided into three parts, intelligence, reason, and passion. Intelligence and passion are possessed by other animals, but reason by man alone.” Pythagoras

“The highest goal of music is to connect one’s soul to their Divine Nature, not entertainment.” Pythagoras

“We come from God. As the tree from the root and the stream from the spring; That’s why we should always be in contact with Him, as the trunk from the root. Because the stream dries up when it is separated from the spring and the tree dies when is uprooted.” Pythagoras

“If you have a wounded heart, touch it as little as you would an injured eye. There are only two remedies for the suffering of the soul: hope and patience.” Pythagoras

“Above all things, respect yourself.” Pythagoras

“The oldest, shortest words – ‘yes’ and ‘no’ Are those which require the most thought.” Pythagoras

“Friendship is one soul in two bodies.” Pythagoras

“In anger, we should refrain both from speech and action.” Pythagoras

“Hate and fear breed a poison in the blood, which if continued, affects eyes, ears, nose and the organs of digestion. Therefore, it is not wise to hear and remember the unkind things others might say about you.” Pythagoras

”It is better to be silent, than to dispute with the Ignorant.” Pythagoras

”Don’t try to cover your mistakes with false words. Rather, correct your mistakes with examination.” Pythagoras

“Learn to be silent. Let your quiet mind listen and absorb.” Pythagoras

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Author Quotes

Deep Philosophy Quotes By Fydor Dostoevsky

fyodor dostoevsky quotes

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars, The deeper the grief, the closer is God!” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“Wealth is the number of things one can do without.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“It is better to be unhappy and know the worst than to be happy in a fool’s paradise.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

Only through suffering can we find ourselves.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“The most offensive is not their lying What is offensive is that they lie and worship their own lying.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“When there is love you can live even without happiness.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“I think the devil doesn’t exist, but man has created him, he has created him in his own image and likeness.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“To go wrong in one’s own way is better than to go right in someone else’s.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“I gave up caring about anything, and all the problems disappeared.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“To think too much is a disease.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

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Author Quotes

Michael Scott Quotes

michael scott quotes

Michael Gary Scott or simply Michael Scott is a key character in The Offer, released by NBC in 2005-2013. It was a TV drama series that consisted of 9 seasons. Michael Scott Quotes, the character of Michael Scott was played by Steve Carell. Due to the popularity and performance of Carell, he has won the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor.

Michael is a central hero of this series, working as the Area Manager of Dunder Mifflin Inc., a paper distribution company. There is a lengthy story throughout the 9 seasons.

This character is all about office life and in this series, there are many Michael Scott Quotes. They are mostly funny, motivational and one-liners because most characters performed by Steve Carell are funny. Every Michael Scott Quote will help to make your office life easier, going smooth and motivational. So, check out the Best Michael Scott Quotes and make your office life fun, inspiring and successful.

Best Michael Scott Quotes

“An office is not for dying. An office is a place for living life to the fullest, to the max, to… an office is a place where dreams come true.”

“I saved a life. My own. Am I a hero?… I really can’t say, but yes!”

michael scott quotes about love

“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”

michael scott quotes about life

“Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.”

“They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office – but I will.”

michael scott quotes about work

“Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah, of course. A bunch of ’em. My employees.”

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“I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday.”

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“Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”

michael scott quotes about friends

“The most sacred thing I do is care and provide for my workers, my family. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money.”

“I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and have worms.”

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“You know what they say ‘Fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice… strike three.’”

michael scott quotes about leadership

“I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say ‘no’ to being my friend.”

“I don’t understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn’t even work here.”

“I know it’s illegal in Pennsylvania, but it’s for charity, and I consider myself a great philanderer.”

What is your favorite Michael Scott Quote?

Throughout the 9 seasons of The Office, Michael Scott has said many memorable, quotable, funny and motivational quotes about personal and office life. Above, at EpicPhrase, we have collected the most favorite and Best Michael Scott quotes. If you have gone through the above lines, you will definitely like one or multiple lines. Our readers will love and appreciate knowing which Michael Scott quotes you like more.

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Author Quotes

Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris is well-known as an American action film star, born on 10 March 1940. Basically, before appearing on screen, he was an American Air Force personnel and an artist of different lines of martial arts. Later on, he started acting in action films. It was not the end of his latent. He also worked as a film producer and screenwriter. Chuck Norris Jokes

During his career, he also started his own martial art academy and trained many film artists.

Chuck Norris Net Worth – $70 Million

Chuck Norris Military Rank – Airman First Class

Chuck Norris Karate Studio

He left US Air Force in 1962. Later on, he submitted an application for the services of a police officer in California. Before selection, he opened a Karate Studio.

Chuck Norris was a great soldier in US Air Force and a professional martial artist. He has a motivational and inspirational personality. That’s why he has said many motivational quotes. On the other hand, during his career in films and screenwriting, he also said many jokes that are worth laughing. You may also say him a funny man.

Check out some of Chuck Norris jokes and Chuck Norris jokes:

Best Chuck Norris Jokes

“Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.”

chuck norris jokes

“Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.”

“Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.”

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“If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.”

“Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.”

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“Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.”

“The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.”

“Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.”

chuck norris hospital jokes

“Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.”

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“Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.”
Chuck Norris Quotes

“When the boogie man goes to sleep he checks his closet for me”

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.”

“Anytime you get action legends together, it has to be a classic.”

chuck norris jokes fear

“It’s important to remember that because these athletes exercise so beyond what even a normal active person would, they generally must also supplement their diet.”

“Ads sway kids’ preferences. Star athletes spokespeople sway kids’ preference.”

“It’s the bullies who are afraid, are the ones that do all the fighting. It’s not the secure kids that get out there and fight. It’s the insecure kids.”

“Getting into a sleep routine before the first week of school will aid in easing the shock of waking up early.”

“There’s a lot to be done; I just see a total moral decay in our society.”

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“Asking your children about their fears or worries about going back to school will help them share their burden.”

“(Taken from the Foreword of ‘Do Hard Things’) One of my life’s principles is to develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways and to help others do the same.”

“The final line in the Second Amendment says, ‘The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.’ That means not by the president, not by Congress.”

“Whether we are famous or not, we all need God. We also need other people.”

chuck norris jokes god

“If the government decides to become a tyrannical government, our guns are to protect us against that.”

“We either go one direction, left, which would be socialism. Or right, which would be people trying to make the money themselves.”

“I’m a people’s actor, not a critics’ actor, and I always have been.”

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“A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can’t do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.”

Did you enjoy the Chuck Norris Joke? Both the jokes and quotes by Chuck Norris are really great. Both are worth ready. So, which of his jokes or quotes do you like a lot? Share them in the comments at EpicPhrase.


Yo Mama Jokes

Katie Mcgrath Quotes

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